livebooks blog

Terence Koh ©Dietmar Busse

When I started getting hired as a photographer, I really was not very well prepared. I was far from clear about what I wanted. I had not created a vision nor had I developed a clear photographic language. In some instances, everything would fall into place: the right subject, the right stylist, the right creative direction. There were moments of real magic.

Often, however, it was much less perfect. When I did not like what I saw in front of me, I did not know what to do with it, and often other people would take charge because I was not able to. For example, the stylist would impose his or her ideas on me, or the hairdresser, or even the model. Needless to say, I was not very happy with that, and it often showed in the results. All this was a lot of stress and I wasn’t getting rich, so there came a point after a few years when I got really fed up. One day I was trying to make a beautiful photograph of flowers for my mom and send it to her on her birthday. I bought a bouquet of flowers, put it in a vase on a table in my studio, and began photographing it. Because it was for my mom, it had to be super special and gorgeous. Nothing I could come up with met my standards at the time, and I got so frustrated that I just took the entire bouquet and ripped it apart.

What a drama! However, as I sat there ready to put the whole thing into the trash, I started playing with the bits and pieces. On the floor I reassembled the petals and stems and just sort of played around. Then I took the camera and photographed my creations. This looked new and fresh to me, and it reminded me of the drawings I used to make for my mom when I was little.

Out of this incident grew an entire body of work. I would lock myself in my studio at the end of the day and make up flowers that don’t exist. I recreated scenes from my childhood and glued hundreds of flower petals and leaves on my body, then photographed myself. I loved just creating things without anybody around — nobody making any demands or having expectations.

At that time, when my agent sent me to meetings with clients, I showed my commercial portfolio and I either got the job or not. But at the end of the meeting I would show my little flower creations and often people would ask me if I would sell them, so I did. Encouraged by this, and somewhat frustrated by my fashion and commercial work, I decided to take a break. I moved to Greenpoint, Brooklyn, and glued flower petals on myself and on all the walls of my railroad apartment. I think I learned a lot about myself during that time. I had to.

In August our routine was to get up around 5am and to be in place with the cowboys at first light. We basically tried to shoot and illustrate various things the cowboys were doing. Working with the horse, herding the cows, etc. We would shoot until about 10am as it gets very hot in the middle of the day. The cowboys don’t do much outdoor work during the heat of the day. During lunch we would download cards or review images. At 3pm we were back out with the cowboys for that late afternoon sun.

It was a breath of fresh air to get out and make this kind of storytelling imagery again. It reminded me of the things I loved about journalism and why I stayed in journalism for so long. I felt like I had found my roots again and re-awakened a deep passion inside me. I loved every minute of it.

The trip has reinforced in my mind how important personal project are to photographers and other creative people. There has to be a certain amount of work to pay the bills, but you have to find some time to keep the creative fire burning inside. I always knew it was important to do personal projects, I just never found the time to fit them in. I had sort of reached that point in my life where I worked to live, not live to work. I had stopped looking for projects like this. I’m so glad that Duda connected me with Izan and we have been able to spend this time working on this project. More »

I was connected with Izan Petterle through Duda Escobar, the show manager for PhotoImage Brazil and the reason I’d come to Brazil in the first place. She invited me down to give the keynote address on wedding photography.

During the planning she asked if I would be interested in teaching a post-convention workshop with Izan in a Brazilian wilderness area called The Pantanal. I didn’t know anything about Izan and was a little nervous about jumping into something unfamiliar in such a remote area. I was also concerned about leaving my business for almost three weeks in August. Initially I declined.

After thinking about it a bit, I decided it was a great opportunity to get out and see a very remote part of a beautiful country. And after speaking to Izan I was completely at ease. Izan has been doing PhotoExpeditions for years and he is a wonderful, kind person. We decided to proceed with a PhotoExpedition after the PhotoImage Brazil conference.

Because I was so late agreeing to do the expedition, there was precious little time to promote the workshop. The day I left for Brazil, no one had signed up yet. Izan and I almost canceled the trip, but he kept assuring me that Brazilians are spur-of-the-moment people. He felt certain we would get some students.

In the end we decided to do the trip with or without students; it was a great chance for both of us to stretch our creative legs a bit. Since leaving journalism in 2000 I have mostly photographed women in white dresses each Saturday, and it was time to do something new. Sure enough we ended up with three students, all of whom signed up just a day or two before the start of the expedition! More »